Well, it’s pretty clear by now that housework is hell. I have arrived at the conclusion that this belief is not a hereditary trait, though. We visited my mother this weekend, and my mama is INTO IT. I mean, talk about clean! Before I have had a cup of coffee and made a list of things I need to do today, my mother has already done them all. She has speed-walked around the house 27 times, put a load of laundry in the washer, begun preparations for whatever delicacy my younger daughter Pearl has requested for breakfast, and checked on the weather forecast. All of my life Mama's flip-flops have been zipping up and down the hall, GETTING STUFF DONE early in the morning. These days she has a white floor, which seems like utter madness to me. Who has a white floor? I saw someone on TV once who suggested taking a sample of the dirt outside to the floor store. You could match the floor to the dirt, and then the dirt would never show after someone comes tromping in with dirty shoes. This seems like a very good idea to me (matching the color, not the tromping).
Speaking of flip-flops and tromping dirt in, as soon as we arrived on the scene at Mama’s house, Pearl tromped car grease she had on the bottom of her own flip-flop onto the porch, through the kitchen, down the hall, and into the bedroom. She’s a quick one, I must say. We were all using Mama’s miracle cleaning wipes and wiping up nasty black grease before we had been there five minutes. Nasty black car grease does not go well with gleaming white floors, in case you were wondering. Poor Mama. She said, “It’s taking y’all less and less time to make a mess!” We don’t know where Pearl acquired the car grease, because we only found a smear on the van carpet. Maybe she walked through it on her way to get in the van, and there is still a big blob on the carport at home. (Drake was putting in new rotors on his truck, whatever a rotor might be. Big blobs of grease are his specialty.)
We definitely are not the neatest family in the world. Also, remember that list I mentioned earlier? I usually just save the items from one day until the next, because making the list is, itself, an accomplishment, right? Maybe I’ll get around to doing something on the list tomorrow, or the next day…
Helpful Housekeeping Hint: DON'T GET A WHITE FLOOR. JUST DON'T.
Helpful Housekeeping Hint: DON'T GET A WHITE FLOOR. JUST DON'T.
